Covenant Relationship

I feel like everything I’ve been going through lately, and everything I’ve been learning, has been connected to the idea of covenant relationship: of reaching a point where you make a commitment to honor someone else regardless of the circumstances, or the possible outcome. Eventually you have to make a choice to trust someone, and ultimately to trust God, with your heart. You have to be willing to expose yourself without control over the result and trust that you will be ok. Friendships and relationships get into the nitty gritty, ugly and annoying parts of people. When that happens it reveals the choice you’ve made in the relationship: either you have committed to the person and that ugly junk won’t have any power to alter how you relate to each other; or, the junk is going to slowly erode whatever good there was. Covenant relationship means that the result ceases to matter. You may not know where things are going, or how they will end, or what the purpose is. At some point you just have to decide that it doesn’t matter, and you commit anyways.

I have committed to the Well, no matter what happens and no matter what it looks like, whether or not I agree with everything and whether I have a key role or not. I have chosen to be here, and I have chosen to commit myself because I trust that God knows a lot more than I do. I don’t care how uncomfortable I get, or how awkward. I don’t care what disagreements happen, or whether I feel like I am contributing. There is a bigger purpose and a bigger plan than me. That is true in friendships, and that is true here. What is more important? What is the bigger picture? 

I feel like God is taking us down to that point of making a choice. You might not understand what’s going on, you might not get where someone is coming from or why they are making the decisions they are making…. So what? It’s not your prerogative to understand. Part of covenant is realizing that you won’t get everything about someone else, that you won’t be on the same page, that the way someone approaches something is the exact opposite of what makes sense to you; and you choose to honor them anyways! Can we recognize what matters, reach the realization that we’re family, and choose someone’s else’s needs over our own? 

Commitment isn’t about knowing all the options, possible outcomes, and pros and cons and then making a reasoned choice. It’s about choosing blindly to trust in something outside of your own ability to comprehend. It’s about letting go of your own limited intellect and letting someone else have control. God is a lot more capable than you or I in any given situation. It’s uncomfortable and it’s scary, but if you want to grow and receive all that God has for you, you’re gonna have to get over it. God rewards risk. Risk results in growth. Without risk and the fear and uncomfortableness that come up when we no longer have control, God is never put in a position to show us who he is. We stay content in our little firmly enclosed boxes, only stretching ourselves on our terms and when it makes us comfortable. If growth is only on your terms, than it probably isn’t growth at all. 

Love isn’t about you. 1 Corinthians 13 describes love as “not self seeking.” So in the relationship, what are you looking to? I’ve been learning that the definition of love is to honor where the other person is at, to respect their boundaries even if they aren’t the same as mine. To choose what the other person needs over what I need. To go at a slower pace because the other person needs to. To stay at a shallower place because someone I love needs to. Love is about picking someone else’s comfort over your own. Philippians 2:3+4 says it like this: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” And within the Well, I want that to be something we excel at. I want to be known for the fact that we love well, that we love selflessly. If we can all put ourselves in the position of lifting up the people around us, of being what someone else needs over what we need… we will cultivate a community and atmosphere of safety, growth and covenant.

                                                                        - Leah Level